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It was one early day in December, a day I remember so well

A solid half hour of screaming that ended with ‘you go to hell’

My little brother was crying as Papa packed up his things

But inside I couldn’t stop smiling for I knew what this would mean

 

Chorus

Two Christmases, two Christmases

The worst day for my mother became the best day for me

Now there’s two stacks of presents under dos Christmas trees

 

My father rented a condo with a hot tub and swimming pool

My mother was quietly fuming – how could my dad be so cruel

All of the while the boxes piled up at both of our homes

My parents competing will double my new G.I. Joes

 

Chorus

Two Christmases, two Christmases

The worst day for my mother became the best day for me

Now there’s two stacks of presents under dos Christmas trees

We’ll open at Mom’s Christmas morning and Dad’s later on that same day

My grandma will stop by with more ‘cause kids shouldn’t suffer that way

So here’s to my broken family, and here’s to joint custody

Here’s to dos Christmases, next year I’m trying for three

 

Chorus

Two Christmases, two Christmases

The worst day for my mother became the best day for me

Now there’s two stacks of presents under dos Christmas trees

Now there’s two stacks of presents under dos Christmas trees