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I told myself that I wouldn’t procrastinate
Wasn’t gonna let my Christmas shopping wait
But now it’s Christmas Eve and it’s getting late
Stores are closed, there isn’t one open sign
But I know a place that’ll suit my needs just fine
The all-night truck stop out on Highway Nine
I’ll fill those stockings to the top
With cigarettes and soda pop
A Broncos hat for Uncle Chip
And a great big jar of nacho dip
Some Copenhagen for my boss
A keychain with an iron cross
A travel mug for cousin Lee
Some Conway Twitty on CD
My son would love this folding knife
A friendship bracelet for my wife
A lighter shaped like a tommy gun
And a case of Red Bull just for fun
I’ll need a sack of Big League Chew
A box of Cheez-Its, jerky too
Some fuzzy dice for my little girl
A necklace made of phony pearls
Some Turtle Wax and a peanut log
And a rawhide pretzel for the dog