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Here's one way to avoid this situation. (photographer unknown)
It started out in Omaha in 1964
Melvin Johnson hung a metal wreath on his front door
In ’65 his neighbor put some reindeer on his lawn
Melvin spit upon the ground and said, “The game is on”
Next year came a string of lights, flashing red and green
The neighbor answered right away with a life-sized manger scene
He thought that was the end of it but much to his dismay
Up on Melvin’s roof he saw a Santa and his sleigh
Every year they added more, the competition grew
People came from far and wide to see what they would do
Melvin put up miles of blinking lights around his place
His neighbor had a laser show that you could see from space
They filled their yards with palace guards
And great big model trains
Dancing elves and silver bells
And ten-foot candy canes
Then one foggy Christmas Eve it all came crashing down
When Melvin caused a blackout in Nebraska’s biggest town
He tapped into a power line to get some extra juice
With an evil laugh he threw the switch and then all hell broke loose
The thousand-watt transformer exploded on the pole
The Christmas decoration war had blown out of control
From ho ho ho to Silent Night, the whole damn thing was gone
Just then Melvin’s neighbor turned his generator on
It choked and spit and sputtered but it lit up his displays
Till a random spark floating through the dark set Melvin’s house ablaze
The fire spread from room to room, the conflagration grew
The neighbor laughed until he saw his house was burning too
Local TV camera crews reported from the scene
The air was filled with toxic smoke from the burning polypropylene
The fire trucks responded but they didn’t have a chance
Reindeer fried and Santa died while the fire did its dance
Melvin and his neighbor got their pictures on TV
The Christmas Fire of ’81 would go down in history
Their houses burned down to the ground, with all of their displays
Except for a metal Christmas wreath that read “Happy Holidays”
