The twenty-fifth of December will be here soon
All the pretty lights, and a merry Christmas tune
But you children of mine, put away your cheer
‘Cause you ain’t getting shit for Christmas this year
Your mom makes you cookies and you whine about the nuts
By the glow of the tree you kick each other’s butts
Santa and me are watching, so you should fear
You ain’t getting shit for Christmas this year
You ask for too much, then you act like a turd
To buy what you want I’d have to be Thurston Howell the Third
When he gets to our house, St. Nick should pause
I’d take back your presents if I was Santa Claus
The morning of Christmas, you might as well sleep in
No boxes, no gifts, no stockings
You’ll just hear the sound of me cracking a beer
‘Cause you ain’t getting shit for Christmas this year
Your mother and I have had it up to here
So you ain’t getting shit for Christmas this year
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